‘Brauchen Sie Vorhänge?’

... who can chose their own curtains?

I was standing by the counter at the charity shop, searching my bag for my money when someone tapped on my shoulder and said something I didn’t understand. I looked up at the lady shop assistant standing in front of me and replied: ‘Entschuldigen..?’ She repeated herself and held up a bundle of old bedding with an abstract floral pattern. I tried to explain that I was ok, had found all that I wanted, but she repeated herself again and spoke more slowly this time: ‘Vorhänge… Brauchen Sie Vorhänge?’ I saw her eyes flicker down at the rather odd assortment of clothes I was wearing that day and then back at my face and with a kind smile continued ‘…für Weihnachten.’ Now I understood. She was asking if I had any curtains and wanted to give me the fabric… for Christmas. I didn’t particularly want the fabric but it seemed simpler to accept than to start trying to explain something in German and her generosity and kindness was very moving. Besides, I can always find use for old fabric. I thanked her and opened my purse to pay for my other items, only to realise that I had less money on me than I thought. I checked my other purse and all my pockets but all I found were a few coins, not much more than 1. I looked at the lady apologetically and asked if she could keep the things for me while I popped to the bank for some cash, I would be back in a minute. Another knowing smile. It was of course no problem. When I returned and paid the 6 for my pullover and handbag she stuffed a bag full of tablecloths and odd pieces of fabrics and handed to me, all smiling and jolly. We both giggled and wished each other a happy Christmas and as I walked out with my bags, waving and thanking her once again, it occurred to me that her ‘Happy Christmas’ actually meant something. This young Turkish woman has probably made a few people’s Christmases at least a little bit happier.

The event reminded me of something that came up a little while ago in a discussion at dinner with our downstairs neighbours.
We were talking about how hard it is to make a living from acting, and art in general, and why it has to be like that, that someone working in business or banking earns so much more than artists, who often have to work for free and even support themselves with extra jobs to be able to do the work they want.
Why on earth there is such an imbalance between classes and why people accept that a football player can get more in a day than a teacher in a month is a whole other discussion I am not going to get into now.

However, the way I see it, is that we always have a choice. Whether it is fair or not, or makes sense to us, we know that there are certain jobs that pay more than others, and that in most cases the jobs that pay most have to do with business or commerce where there is a high stress level and little room for creativity and making mistakes. If we really want to make a lot of money, those are the kind of jobs we should be aiming for.
If on the other hand we want to work as artists we should know that we might spend a lot of time being broke.
Art is a necessary and vital, but it is also a privilege. Or at least I feel privileged to be able to have a job which I enjoy so much and where I can be so free. Like for many other people in my profession this sometimes means that I don’t get paid for my work and some people don’t think that is fair. But that is my choice. If I need or want something I can’t afford from working as an artist I might have to work on jobs I don’t enjoy as much for a while. It’s all a matter of value.
How many hours do I have to work in order to be able to buy a new coat that I really like, or a cup of coffee every morning, or a pint of beer every night, or a massage, or a subscription to the swimming pool, or a packet of cigarettes, or organic groceries, or a meal out, or a holiday abroad, or a dentists appointment, or quality time with my family and friends, or going to the theatre, or two weeks working on something I find exciting and interesting?

So instead of being fixated on the things we can’t have or afford, look at it this way. You can spend all your time working for money to buy things, or you can spend that same money on time to do the things that you want.
I think it’s important for us to remember that there is nothing that says that we should be able to have all of those things at once. Chose. And be grateful because not everyone is given the luxury of this choice.

‘Oh, so you knew each other before you came to Berlin?’

I admit it is not something I imagined would happen, or that I thought it would be a particularly good idea to live with someone you had been practically married to. And I realise that for the people that shuddered at the thought of having enormous posters of an ex-boyfriend all over town this might sound pretty awful.
I’m not going to go into how it came about that we both happened to be in Berlin in the same time or why we ended up sharing a flat. It wasn’t planned. But here we are. Víkingur and Eva. Sharing two rooms and a kitchen with a bathtub.

We sometimes get funny looks or raised eyebrows when we meet people here and it comes out that, yes we did know each other back in Iceland. In fact, we used to be a couple… for four and a half years actually… but broke up a year and a half ago and now are just good friends and flatmates.

‘ahaaaa… I see’
wink wink and a smirk, even a little nod.
Are you thinking what they are thinking?

In many ways I think this is the perfect living arrangement.
We know each other inside out, have done it all before and we know each other’s habits, peculiarities and insecurities. We have run into our conflicts and know how to avoid them or work with them. We had a long enough time together to have developed a liking for a lot of the same things. We are a bit like an old couple like that, with our ways and rutines and roles.
Víkingur sleeps in the living room where we both also work during the day. I sleep in the bedroom where be both keep our clothes. When we go to bed we can chat through the half open door. In the morning we wake each other up and eat breakfast together. If we feel like a cuddle or snuggle we can have that too and I admit it is very nice to be able to do that sometimes. But that is all it is and neither of us tries to turn it into anything else. If we were not over the sexual tension or excitement or curiosity, that often comes up between flatmates or close friends I don’t know if this would be possible.

Of course it is funny in some ways and I know it is unusual. Like sitting and talking on skype with webcams to my mother, or to Víkingur’s children and ex-wife.
But to be absoluely honest, it really does feel like the most natural thing in the world. It's great!
And why shouldn’t it work out when we had a great relationship that worked out for almost five years? We were the closest friends then, and we still can be now, just in a different way.

And if we want to have lovers?
Well, it might be better if we hang out at their place anyway…